Webpiper.net

AKUS

I went to Borders yesterday to pick up a couple of Alison's CDs that I didn't already have, and ended up with So Long So Wrong, a Union Station CD, and Forget About It, an Alison CD.

Both are very good.

Random Observations

So it appears that Buffy is going off the air after this season. Crap.

I really like the latest release by Alison Krauss and Union Station, New Favorite. It's an album that speaks to me.

I am sick of hearing about Iraq already. Do it, don't do it, whatever. Piss or get off the pot.

I am tired.

The tuna sub I wolfed for lunch was only mediocre. It's a shame, because I like a good tuna salad.

The more I make, the more I spend. We don't save enough.

I'd like to get away from working on computers for a living someday. I crave an outlet for my more artistic side, maybe creating custom something or anothers.

I need more self-discipline, and fewer oatmeal raisin cookies.

The bagpipes are a difficult and discouraging instrument to learn at times.

People who write really good song lyrics are important.

Mr. Rogers died. I remember sitting on the couch as a child eating bowls of sugary goodness and watching King Friday and the gang. Remember the "How are crayons made?" episode? He wasn't really a sniper.

I read a story about a girl who had most of her face and body burned off. She's still fighting. I don't have it that bad.

Butterflies.

Introspection, anyone?

A couple of times in a person's life, if they are lucky, they will reach a moment of perfect clarity, introspection, and understanding. Sometimes, the moment comes as a result of the resolution of a problem, or perhaps with the beginning or end of a relationship, or at a point where someone else's view of you becomes apparent.

It's like how you always have a mental image of yourself that doesn't quite match the pictures that turn up.

The thing is, I think, if you are willing to take an honest look at what you are being shown, you can learn from it, and become a better person for it. Of course, you can go the other way; ignore it, deny it, and become bitter in the worst way, by pushing away the person who might be showing you yourself honestly. I think everyone who comes and goes in your life does so for a reason. I stop short of trying to explain why that is, but nonetheless, I believe that sometimes you get what you need when you don't realise you needed it.

One of the issues I'm struggling with of late is my idealism. For so long I've believed that in any situation, there is ALWAYS a right answer. Objectively, this should be true. I've never had a time in my life where I couldn't see the right path. I might not have taken it, but it was clear.

I am starting to realise that there are some choices that are much harder for a person to make. Sometimes, even if a person desires a thing, there are so many shades of grey that make the realisation of that thing impossible. Sometimes, there's just no way to do the right thing; someone will hurt, and sometimes that someone is yours truly.

One thing that helps is having somebody with which you can talk, and not have to worry about your confidence being betrayed or being judged. I have a couple of friends like that, and there are different things I can talk about with each of them, and sometimes just their listening is enough to help me work through problems. You guys rock.

Unrelated: Isn't it funny how poignant a song can be? I am constantly amazed at the range of emotion and memory a song can evoke. Music is an incredible way to change your mood, remember something you lost, or to grieve, or celebrate, or any range of things.

If you haven't heard Johnny Cash's version of Hurt by Trent Reznor, please make it a priority to do so. He manages to take the song and make it something special.

Shiny Happy People

Is it human nature to not be happy with what you've got, always needing the things you can't have?

I don't know what is wrong with me. It's like I need the hurt. Can't I find the happy place and just stay?

I talked about simplifying my life. I have so much crap I don't need. It's like my things own and define me. It's not me, though. For so long I had nothing, and now I feel like I have to have the next greatest thing, or I am not happy. Problem is, it's not fufilling when I get it.

I know there have been times in my life when I was happy. I can remember them with startling clarity. I also remember that everytime I was happy, I did something to fuck it up. I honestly don't know where the appetite for self-destruction comes from. I need to examine my greener-pastures problem and figure out what in the hell I can do to change it. Maybe *really* throwing myself into work will help. I figure if I am so busy I can't think, then I can...not think.

I need an anchor I don't have, and that's a true need.

Pictures

That's Dave Page in the foreground, my pipe-major and one of my instructors. Just to his left is Lindsey, probably the best piper I have heard live. Just past him is Craig Nelson, who is a music teacher. There is much talent in the JPD.

As soon as Xkot gets a chance to install gallery (he's got a lot of crap going on right now, so I am not pressing the issue) I will start posting some of my pictures. I have a bunch from the last iteration of my blog, and some new ones that I haven't posted yet, but will soon.

In the meantime, here are a few pictures from the Scottish Highland Games this past weekend. (See previous couple of posts) linked from the website I maintain for the Jacksonville Pipes and Drums.

Jacksonville Highland Games Were Today

The band in which I am a student, the Jacksonville Pipes and Drums, placed 1st in grade 5. They sounded great.

We were lucky the weather held off, and the big rains didn't appear. The turnout was great, probably because last year was such a miserable rainy mess. Liam wore his kilt, and was a hit. Got some pictures that I will post over at the band site www.jaxpipes.org.

Unrelated to that, I picked up New Favorite, the newest CD by Alison Krauss and Union Station (AKUS, for you fans) and may I say that it's great.

In particular, I like Lucky One and the title track, New Favorite.

Needful Things

There are so many things that a person needs to be happy. Sometimes, it seems as if we can't even identify all of them.

Sometimes, we think we have what we need to be happy, only to find that it's not enough.

I bandy about the word "need" in day-to-day conversation, but rarely does the context in which I am choosing the word justify it's use.

I need things like air, water, shelter, food, clothing. I would argue that I, like the average person, also need love, some sort of a creative outlet, a purpose in life, music, art, and companionship. Sometimes I look at what I have, and feel the strong urge to simplify my life back to those things that I can honestly label a "need."

A lot of people also seem to think they need an explaination for the creation of the universe. They need the security provided by a belief in a creator of some sort. I recently came to the conclusion that I didn't need that at all, and that I finally knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was a hoax, religion a myth, and the supernatural a crutch on which society leaned.

Now I am not so sure. Nothing has happened to me, personally. It's just that many of the people I love and respect hold tight to that belief, and they don't seem to ever waver. Futhermore, it seems to help them explain things they can't otherwise understand. I know it still may be just a dream, but if so, it seems so damn comforting that I find myself jealous of those people I know that can not worry about something once they turn it over to their god.

I still have my doubts, but I also have a new-found respect for those of you with whom I've argued this point with before. I am not turning in my Agnostic pin yet, but I am not going to take such a hostile stance toward religion as I have before.

Traffic

I live in St. Johns county, a suburb of Jacksonville.

We only have one direct route into the city, where my job is, Interstate 95.

They are currently widening I-95, and reconfiguring the interchange of I-95 and 295, a local loop that rings the city.

This morning at around 4am, there was an accident involving 5 semi trucks at the interchange. Northbound 95 is completely closed. I left home this morning at 8:15, and didn't make it to work until 10:15. Two hours of driving. I had to go about 40 miles West, and then 20 miles North, and then 40 miles East again to get back on I-95 past the snarl.

I hear some rumbling that the county commissioners in St. Johns are considering building a parallel corridor to I-95 to ease traffic for us commuters. I am not holding my breath, but perhaps today's events will better illustrate our need for such an alternate route.

Here is a story about the incident from our local rag.

Getting Ready for the Games Saturday

He's 4.

Scrum is such a cool word.

So I have been in the gym pretty much solidly for about 9 months now, and I am much, much stronger than I was when I started.

Unfortunately, I am not much smaller than when I started. I am afraid all signs are pointing to some sort of AEROBIC EXERCISE. No, I am not talking about watching old Jane Foda video tapes, or Sweating to the Oldies. I mean doing something that will get the old ticker racing, and keep it that way for at least 40 minutes 3 or 4 times a week.

As there is only so much treadmill walking one can be expected to do, I am searching for some alternative means of obtaining that fat-burning activity. One of those ideas is Rugby.

Anybody interested in either a) finding some scratch Rugby club in town and playing, or b) trying to find enough people in Jacksonville to put together the occassional Saturday match?

If you are in the Metro Jacksonville area and interested, sound off.

Welcome Back

You may notice some changes here. I am using Moveabletype now, which is much more user friendly application than my old one, and my pal Xkot set it all up for me, as usual. I am impressed with the way that you can manipulate the CSS behind the site from inside the interface. Very swank.

I am going to start posting again, but perhaps not about the same sorts of things I wrote about before. I still intend to add my biting political commentary, as I live for political argument, but I wrote some hurtful things about some people from my past that weren't necessary, and while I didn't expect them to stumble upon my website, that's no excuse for not being civil. Luckily, unlike many people, I have had the opportunity to address the issues that lead to my childish stabs as of late, and it feels nice to put to rest something that had bothered your faithful and humble narrator for quite some time.

Since there may be several people to whom this post could be addressed, I will leave it at this:

If you are who I am writing about, you know of which I speak. If you are not sure if I am talking about you, then just assume that I am indeed adressing you, since I probably owe you an apology as well, and seeing as I am being somewhat more free-flowing than usual with said apologies, it hurts nothing to add one more to the mix.

Well, I am glad I could get that off my chest.

Coming soon: pictures.